My origin story is a cross between "Call me Ishmael" a few too many whiskey sours packed in an old thermos at the drive-in double feature, and that little voice that says, "you got this" -- Instead of a "Raised by wolves" t-shirt, mine says "Raised by functional alcoholics with intimacy phobias & low self-esteem" -- Micro (aggression) memoirs -- Garsh Durn it! You say patriarchy, I say patri-malarkey, dollars to donuts cuckoo banana pants, you gals & your lady power this 'n' that -- Me, cutting in front of all the people in all the lines forever: "it's okay, I literally was here first" #DecolonizedAF -- Merciless indian savages? Try merciless indian fabulous! -- "Shill the pretendian, unfav the genuine" is the 2008 remix of "kill the indian, save the man" -- I watched Woman walks ahead and frankly was offended by the cookie-cutter, stereotypical portrayal of the menacing white soldier -- The native Americans used every part of the sacred Turkey -- Breaking news - your neighbor who said, "whoa, dude, this whole Trump thing's, like, so fricken surreal", might actually be on to something -- The Trump administration's pop-up, coloring, scratch 'n' sniff, edible, and radioactive activity book
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